Redneck Waffle House Wedding

I get so tired of the redneck trailer park trash of the South defining the worldview of what Southerners are supposed to be like. I understand that I am perpetuating that very same negative image by posting this video on Bonez. However, the Waffle House wedding succinctly portrays the very thing I am bitching about. Embarrassingly, right down the ignorant son-of-a-buck going to his matrimonial death being named "Bubba".

Let me clue you in... Most Southern women are not Belles. Neither are they cigarette smoking incest victims, barefoot obese heifers, snaggle-toothed meth addicted unwed mothers, fashion-challenged potato sack wearing diva wannabes, idiotic sixth grade educated baby-making machines. Most Southern women are nothing like that at all.

Most Southern men are not genteel-men. Neither are they gosh darn knee-slapping rednecks, tobacco chewing clods in overalls, cigarette smoking inbred banjo pickers, beer drinking deer hunters and bass fishermen, mullet-haired truck driving Nascar fans, uncouth morons picking their noses and scratching their balls and asses in public. Most Southern men are nothing like that at all.

Know what I mean, Vern?

An Experiment....

Harry Potter intently watched the pirated video of Britney Spears' boobs on his iPhone.
"If the RIAA or MPAA ever caught wind that I was watching an illegally downloaded movie of these tits on an Apple phone..." he thought to himself. His thoughts no longer on sex, he tossed the iPhone aside and picked up his iPod to listen to the latest podcast from Fox News. Story after story on Scooter Libby and all that rubbish on the Valerie Plame affair assaulted his ears. The Democrats were pulling another power move and were attempting to place the blame on George Bush and Dick Cheney again.
"Damn liberals", he thought to himself. "Republicans know damn well that Al Qaeda and the terrorists want nothing more than to take away freedoms, our American Idol and our porn. He loaded up Google to find the exact address for the Wikipedia page on WWE, thinking this might calm him down. Suddenly, his screen darkened and then switched to the dreaded blue screen of death.
"Damn you Microsoft!" he roared, as he threw his NASCAR cup at the wall. "Fucking Windows XP!!!" he cried. "I should have bought Windows Vista or at least used Firefox instead of Internet Explorer!!!"
"I have probably got a virus infection or a load of spyware due to the torrents and P2P I've been using", he sighed to himself. Oh well, even with the desktop down, he still had his PowerBook that was set up to use Linux. Pushing the stack of Pokemon cards off the top of it, he opened it up and turned it on. Back to the internet, he went in search of the latest football and baseball scores. He paused to look up nominations for the Emmy Awards and the Oscars. He wondered if the Transformers would get a nod. He knew many Christians, Muslims, Atheists, Buddhists, Hindus and Jews that thoroughly enjoyed that film. He thought of loading up World of Warcraft to have a go with his character, "Jesus Mohammed", but opted instead to play some Runescape. Finding himself bored, he opted instead to search for a Disney based poker game, but his searches returned nothing but "hot xxx virgins" and "barely legal webcam whores". Sighing to himself, he closed down his computer and resigned himself to an evening of Halo 3.