Wells Fargo Bank Robbery Roll a D6 Danielsan

Bourrée Duet from Space

I've been a fan of Jethro Tull since discovering an abandoned cassette copy of Benefit at my grandfather's house (No, Grandpa wasn't so hip -- I think it belonged to one of his step kids or something). Sure, I had heard the standard radio tracks -- Aqualung, Locomotive Breath, Thick as a Brick, etc., but most of Benefit was new to me. I thought the album was fantastic from beginning to end and it made me a fan.

Eventually, I would go on to collect everything Jethro Tull had ever recorded and a few years later, when I was managing a record store in Atlanta, I scored some passes for one of those "meet and greets" backstage with the band at the Fox Theatre. My Rock Island poster and original gatefold vinyl pressing of Living in the Past, autographed by both Ian Anderson and Martin Barre, adorn the walls of my home office to this day (almost twenty years later).

They've been around for over 40 years now and some 24 musicians have passed through their ranks, but they're still recording and performing to this day.

Though I must say that both Ian Anderson and I have a lot less hair than we did back in the '70s. :)

Atlanta Weather Update

Megan McGlover tells it like it is.

America's Got Talent....Redux

Okay, I've got to admit, I really wasn't expecting the kind of traffic we've been getting for my America's Got Talent post. I know that some of you are finding your way here because of a link on NBC's official forums for America's Got Talent. You came looking for an honest dissertation on the contestants of the day and who won and lost. Instead, you got one of my snarky and self-centered rants against the American populous. In the spirit of fairness, I have decided to give you the complete stats here, as I know that's what drew many of you here. I only hope that we can continue to keep you here to gnaw the meat from the various Bonez to be found in the pile.

Onto the stats:

Everything posted here is from the second taping in Atlanta, GA on February 27. (NOT the Dallas taping, as the original forum post might lead you to believe.) I have included names where I could and whatever details I could recall based on the notes I took.

1) Beverly "Guitar" Watkins and her band, made up of three of her sons. I know that they played a Ray Charles song, I want to say it's "What'd I Say", but don't quote me on that. The crowd loved them and they moved forward to Vegas.

2) The next act was a large group of women performing traditional African percussion and dancing. They were very upbeat and friendly and were accepted for Vegas, though they were given a warning that their act would require "more" in order for them to succeed. Singing was suggested.

3) Three women with retired service dogs that were to dance together. The women were dressed in cowgirl outfits and the dogs essentially stayed at their side looking for treats. They did not get to move on. One of the dogs is from my home town. :)

4) A gentleman named Ken. (I missed his last name.) He was playing a self-constructed instrument he called a "Hockey Racket" that contained a hockey stick, tennis racket and various other odds and ends that made a very odd sound. He did not progress.

5) A zombie clogging troupe that clogged to Thriller by Michael Jackson. They did not make it through as the judges felt that clogging had already been represented by an act from a previous taping and that their act lacked originality.

6) Next up was a 5-time national champion female impersonator. His character for the show was Dionne Warwick. He looked very convincing but his entire act consisted of lip-synching. He did not move up.

7) Brian Tierney and Jerry. They were a ventriloquist act. They did not advance as the judges felt that the previous year's winner (a ventriloquist, I'm led to assume) so excelled in his art that everybody else came up flat.

8) Erin and Alexis Jones, a sister team from Louisiana. They made note of how much their grandmother admired David Hasselhoff. The audience was rather displeased with their performance of "Killing Me Softly" and they were ultimately "buzzed" by all three judges. They were given a rather harsh critique of their performance, after which they noted that their grandmother, who had so loved Hoff, was in fact dead.

9) Michelle and Melanie, twins performing a clogging routine. Mentioned a now dead cat of theirs that had been named for Jerry Springer. They were very quickly buzzed by all three judges.

10) The Marching Abominables. This was a very large troupe (77 members) of colorfully dressed people, from young to old performing a marching band routine with baton twirlers and full regalia. Their costumes looked like Elton John teamed up with Sid and Marty Krofft to design Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. They did not move up, but were very upbeat and took it all in stride.

11) K-9. A rapper also known as "Man's Best Friend". Buzzed out by all of the judges rather quickly.

12) "The Puppet People", a puppet troupe of singing and instrument playing puppets. Featured were a generic diva, Ray Charles, and Willie Nelson. They were enthusiastically received and were nominated for Vegas. They mentioned that they have a total of 27 different puppets already made.

13) Alistair McQueen. He was dressed up like a nerd and performed a burlesque/striptease act. He was not enthusiastically received by the judges and made a disparaging remark to the Hoff about eating cheeseburgers off the floor. Hoff was not amused.

14) Ken Panse with "Hummer the soccer gator". A local reptile wrangler that was attempting have an alligator hit a soccer ball into a net with its tail. This was unsuccessful, possibly due to the low temperatures on the stage. A gracious contestant even after being buzzed by all three judges.

15) Michelle Wallace singing "All By Myself" by Celine Dion. Almost immediately buzzed by all three judges and harshly rebuked for her lack of talent.

16) An impersonator whose name I did not catch. Although he finished his act and was decently liked by the audience, the judges did not advance him. He was very gracious about accepting his defeat.

17) Buddy and Honey, a local comedy duo. They were not very well received by the judges, but they readily admitted that their material was usually a bit more mature than what was permissible on network tv. They had been an act for 6 years and dating for 12. They stated that if they won, they'd get married.

18) Veronica and Talulah, performing a burlesque routine. Not well received. Sharon made note of the fact that she is friends with Dita von Teese, and that the girls just weren't up to snuff for that kind of entertainment. The girls countered that they were asked to change their routine on fairly short notice. They did not advance.

19) Taylor Daniel, a 15-year-old singing Frank Sinatra. (I believe it was Come Fly With Me, again, I'm sorry if incorrect.) He was well received by the crowd and Piers and Hoff said yes. Sharon was on the fence about whether or not she'd let him through, mostly because of his age and inexperience. In order to ensure a good commercial break, they had him leave and come back later for the decision. He was ultimately accepted, due in large part to the audience reaction.

20) A 48-year-old woman whose name I did not note. She performed a song and dance number and was buzzed by all the judges.

21) Daniel Burton, performing a dance routine. Although he did not advance, he was told that he was quite capable of making a good living as a background dancer.

So there you have it, folks, 21 acts performed and 4 moved on to Vegas.

Disregard the title of my previous post, apparently 19% of America's "Got Talent".

If you happened here because of the link from NBC, please stick around a bit and sample our wares. Most of us don't bite.

I Drink Your Blood

Every once in a while you see a film that ends up being way better than it deserves to be. You can't necessarily call it a good movie, per se, but it definitely has some kind of spark that you're not entirely expecting. I discovered one such movie earlier this week at the Plaza theater in Atlanta and thought I would take a moment to recommend it to those who haven't seen it yet. The film in question is I Drink Your Blood.

Don't come into this thinking that this is an amazing movie. Or a great one. Or even a competent one. It is the lowest of the low in terms of budget and the acting is pretty hammy across the board. But horror fans have come to expect that few films in the genre are actually good movies. They're usually varying degrees of bad, but with some creative or innovative means of storytelling thrown in for good measure.

The plot of I Drink Your Blood is your standard "Boy injects meat pies with the blood of a rabies-infected dead dog in order to sicken a roving band of satanic hippies who have taken up residence in an abandoned hotel and who have dosed the boy's sister and grandfather with LSD, but in fact ends up giving the hippies rabies which sends them on a rampage of bloodlust and violence" story. One that's been told countless times before, no doubt.

I Drink Your Blood was produced by Jerry Gross, the producer and/or distributor for a number of exploitation films that have since become classics: Mondo Cane, Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song, I Spit on Your Grave and Zombie, to name a few. Having seen the success of Night of the Living Dead, Gross wanted to capitalize on its popularity without being completely derivative. To that end, he hired David Durston to create a film that worked on a similar level but without utilizing zombies. He wanted something more rooted in real life. Durston wrote a script called Phobia that dealt with a group of Satan worshipping hippies that became rabid and terrorized a small town.

Gross liked the idea and allowed Durston to begin filming it. Gross ultimately decided it would be best to release the film as a double feature with an older black and white zombie film he had. In a stroke of genius, Phobia was retitled as I Drink Your Blood and the other film became I Eat Your Skin. Of course, this led to an ad campaign that utilized those names to their fullest.

Once the movie was completed the next hurdle presented itself. The film received the very first X rating given out based solely on violent content. This presented an issue for the producer, as every day that the film was not released was another day that the film wasn't making him money. Very few theaters at the time were willing to present X rated material, so he sent the prints to the theaters and left it up to the individual projectionists to edit the film as they saw fit. As a result of this decision, no two copies of this film that one could see were the same.

The version we saw at the theater this week was a full 8 minutes shorter than the "full version" available on DVD. In the case of our print, a good deal of the gore had been removed, as well as some sexual material. This led to interesting plot issues, such as a complete lack of explanation on how the virus spread to the dam (it was a gang rape), how one of the cultists had died (she had been killed after being gang-raped at the dam) and an absolutely amazing edit where a scene was cut in the MIDDLE of the exposition explaining the plot.

The hippies of the film were an obvious reference to Charles Manson and his "family". Given that the film was made in 1970, this reference would still have been quite relevant. Not only were they hippies, but they worshipped Satan, and apparently Benetton as well, given the racially diverse nature of their group. This included a black man, a mute, a middle-aged Asian woman, two white guys, and an Indian.

So, after all, this, am I recommending that you rush out and rent I Drink Your Blood? Not necessarily. If you are at peace with bad filming, bad dialog, inexplicable cuts, terrible acting, and the general feel of a 70's exploitation film, then you probably find this to be an enjoyable romp. It's not great. It's not amazing. But, if nothing else, it is very entertaining.

And isn't that all we want from a film?