Happy 4th of July

Posted by Tony

Happy 4th of July

From your Patriotic Bonez Crew

God Bless Mom, Apple Pie andStar Spangled Cheesecake Goodness!

Holy Frijoles, Where's My Toes?

Posted by Tony

This last weekend I went fishing with my son. It was a great time in spite of the "feels like" one hundred and ten degree suffocating heat and suffering spider bites. It was a strange mixed bag of emotions for both of us as we got to experience some firsts together and mourn the passing of several pop culture icons, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and Billy Mays. What does all of this meandering rambling have to do with the above Taco Bell video? Guess the passing of such famous icons made me think about that spunky Chihuahua Taco Bell dog. Remember, "Yo quiero Taco Bell"? Well I sure do and while I joined the world in mourning the King of Pop and my favorite Charlie's Angel that dang punk mutt kept popping up into my thoughts. Soon I found myself craving fire sauce smothered bean burritos with extra onions while I surfed on my iPhone for those hot Farrah nipple pics that caused me so much post adolescent angst. Yes, you read that correctly. I said "post adolescent" as the beautiful and talented Ms. Fawcett was only about nine years older than I. On the other hand, Jacko was three and a half years younger than me and died looking like one of the disfigured rotting undead zombie dancers from his Thriller music video. I readily admit that I loved both Michael and Farrah. Not necessarily equally but "love" nonetheless. Loved them in a sense that they represented a part of my past filled with certain fond memories triggered by their imagery and work. I didn't love Billy Mays, though, and that's why I don't have his picture in this post. It isn't because of his D List status. I just never liked his obnoxious and cocky way of screaming at his audience in his feigned excitement for whatever item he was hawking on late night infomercial TV. Plus, I always wondered how he got that fake beard on. I mean, there is no way in hell that was a real beard! The dang thing looked like it was painted on with black boot polish or stolen from those bearded super G.I. Joe dolls (okay, they weren't frakkin' dolls! Don't go all homophobic on me here. They were action figures,okay? Feel better now?) with the amazingly realistic kung fu grip and powerful one-two punch back in the mid 70's. If his beard was any indication of his total hairiness then I bet he had matted monkey hair on his back, too. Not meaning to dis Mr. Mays or disrespect him in his untimely (is there really such a thing as an "untimely" death?) but the guy was hilarious in his exuberance for ultra used car slash snake oil salesman tactics. Okay, I probably did buy a few things Billy was sellin' but I ain't tellin' and ifn I did they probably didn't work as Billy said, anyways. So, back to Yo quiero Taco Bell and the fact that I was craving bean burritos with extra onions all weekend while my son and I caught some monster blue catfish at an unnamed lake located in a further unnamed location. There I was putting liver and cheese stink bait on these big ass hooks on some fishing yo-yos sweating like I was in a sauna in what feels like one hundred and ten degree humid heat and daydreaming about that effin taco bell Chihuahua yo quieroing with fresh hot bean burritos strapped to each side of him while the world and my son mourned the surprising transition of Michael Jackson and probably felt similar to the way I felt when I heard of John Lennon being murdered on my birthday back in 1980. The weird thing was that I had two of those tasty frijoles refritos burritos on the way to the unnamed lake but that was only enough to intensify my insane cravings further. You have probably figured out by now that I have an eating disorder when it comes to certain fast food delights like Taco Bell. Of course, that consumption of mass quantities is nothing compared to my ingestion of raw fish when I get on one of my weekly sushi binges. But that's another story. Back in the day before I became a more controlled soul and took up lacto-ovo pescetarianism I was frequently visiting Taco Bell and placing orders similar to these two guys in this next video.


I know, I know ... sad but nonetheless true and I must admit that I didn't sound nearly as melodious as they do but my orders were just as impressively large. Okay, I am easily man enough to admit my addiction publicly and pick up my white chip and humbly proclaim I was/am/is a Taco Bellaholic now happily (or not) in recovery from my glutenous behaviors. My change of consciousness came about the fateful morning I woke up and couldn't find my toes.
It must have been the chicken because no one ever got fat being a lacto-ovo pescetarian did they? So as long as I only eat pescetarian approved food stuffs I should be okay, right? Then why the hell am I still fighting my Buddha belly and sporting a matching pair of love handles that never get any love? It ain't the chicken, folks, so it's gotta be the quantity. I have to figure how many pounds of sushi may be consumed in a single sitting before it is considered over indulgence and an endangerment leading to extinction of certain aquatic species. That may assist my favorite sushi chef from breaking down crying every time I walk into his all you can eat sushi buffet. Maybe I will ask E or Markoni about it since they are often the sensible types when it comes to consumption of massive quantities of food stuffs. Anyway, it was a great weekend of male bonding between my son and I even if there was several celebrity (and not so celebrity) deaths to contend with. He learned to jump boat wake in a fast SeaDoo with me clinging onto his skinny frame and screaming in terror like a little school girl. How embarrassing and yet so fun and fulfilling at the same time. Isn't life wonderful? So, sorry that Farrah, Michael and Billy have passed on to something better and less painful than this realm we think we exist in, but the rest of the weekend kicked ass and was a blast with my son on the unnamed lake in that also unnamed location. In spite of that infernal yo quiero Taco Bell dog and his cursed delicious frijoles refritos burrito with extra cebolla.

Billie Jean by Chris Cornell

Posted by Markoni

The media will be saturated with Michael Jackson retrospectives for the weeks and months following his very unexpected death. When Michael Jackson was at his peak and earning the "King of Pop" crown, I was in high school becoming what I can only describe as "musically aware". As a rebellious teenager there was NO WAY I was going to be listening to pop, having only recently discovered Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Van Halen, etc. Michael Jackson was the antithesis of what I was into at a time when he was the undisputed ruler of the airwaves and MTV.

That said, Michael Jackson's mark on pop music and pop culture cannot be understated. As the unofficial "music guy" here at Bonez, here's my small tribute to the man. I can't say that I've ever owned a Michael Jackson album, but Chris Cornell's version of Billie Jean is in my car stereo right now. That has to stand for something...

STOLEN: A White Trash Life

Posted by Tony

[Read rest of article @ MindCrap.Com]

Found @ [DISCLAIMER: All posts clearly marked STOLEN: in the title are meant to bring additional points of view and content to Bonez Readers' attention and are not the property of Bonez and do not necessarily reflect the views or tenets of the Bonez staff. Such STOLEN: posts are meant as free promotional opportunities for the original creators of said posts.]

Perpetuum Jazzile Rocks Toto's Africa

Posted by Tony

Perpetuum Jazzile

Toto - Africa Lyrics

I hear the drums echoing tonight
But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation
She's coming in 12:30 flight
The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation
I stopped an old man along the way,
Hoping to find some long forgotten words or ancient melodies
He turned to me as if to say, Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you

CHORUS:
It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

The wild dogs cry out in the night
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company
I know that I must do what's right
As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti
I seek to cure what's deep inside, frightened of this thing that I've become

CHORUS

(Instrumental break)

Hurry boy, she's waiting there for you

It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa, I passed some rains down in Africa
I bless the rains down in Africa, I passed some rains down in Africa
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

2012 Trailer Awesome Apocalyptic CGI Fun

Posted by Tony

Someone "confronted" me recently on my posting of certain types of topics that were not necessarily in the best interest of spreading love and peace to our planet and reversing the negative route we seem to be taking as a species. It seems that the Tao Te Ching, Bible, Qur'an, Rasa'il al-hikmah, Book of the Dead, Grit, Dead Sea Scrolls, Redbook, Dianetics, Principia Discordia, Cosmopolitan, A Course in Miracles, The Gnostic Gospels, and Archie Comics all explicitly prohibit and are not tolerant of such negative world spirit crushing posts. Add to that that all peaceful, enlightened, loving beings, both those in the flesh and those non-physical entities some apparently are able to see and hear much more clearly than I, succinctly admonish such negative energy creation in the blogosphere. No more watching violent films, playing M-rated XBox video games (I think Wii video games are acceptable to the ancients), supporting our troops, having balls to state an opinion or posting about apocalyptic excitement and supposition on Bonez or other non-zombie zealot approved activities. Though, I am impressed that Bonez has been singled out by the ancient masters for direct counseling and intervention I am not necessarily in agreement with their judgment of Bonez or the Bonezian community in general. I have always attempted to be a good universal citizen and sound the clarion call on all potential weird yet entertaining things happening (and maybe happening or not) around us. That's why you will always find lots of kewl stuff here that many bloggers are just too shy or too sane to publish. That's the way we roll, Baby, and we'll just keep row row rowing our boat gently against the stream, thank you very much.

Further proof of rebellious and dangerous Bonez thinking pertaining to 2012:
Apocalypse Bible Belt Style
Surviving 2012 and Planet X
Mayan Calendar Predicts End of the World

[Official 2012 movie site]

Mossberg Reviews New iPhone 3G S

Posted by Tony

Read Walt Mossberg's All Things Digital full iPhone 3G S review

In less than twenty-four hours I will experience the delicious iPhone 3G S for myself. I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve ... all tingly with excitement and heart palpitating with anticipation. I begrudgingly use my brand new Samsung Propel Pro knowing that I will be able to free myself soon from its erratic faulty behaviors. I will not say more about the Propel Pro since it has been such a disappointment and AT&T has been fairly gracious in helping me replace it with the new iPhone. However, I do not recommend you buying it yourself, since it has more hazards than benefits with the Windows Mobile 6.1 OS. Just my opinion and experience after burning through two of them in less than a week.

Now let me get out of here and sit in my daydream of how every aspect of my life will be so vastly improved tomorrow morning when I am finally united with my beloved iPhone 3G S...

We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious.

When a Soldier Comes Home

Posted by Tony

When A soldier comes home

Thank you to all of our military troops and families who sacrifice so much to serve our country. We are proud of you and honor you for your service.

[Suggested by Lt. Aaron Payne, United States Army, serving in Iraq.]

Weird Al Yankovic: Craigslist

Posted by Markoni

With Ray Manzarek on keyboards. Cool!

What Can I Do For You?

Posted by Tony

Click image to enlarge
[Found @ FunPic suggested by Dominic T.]

STOLEN: Outlawed: "Important Medical Discovery" ... But Why?

Posted by Tony

Over many years, Dr. Wilhelm Reich's work and findings on the orgone energy, or life-energy, have been subjected to careful scientific scrutiny and evaluation. This video gives a short introduction, and provides reference books and websites by which the interested viewer can obtain facts and accurate information.

One of my mentors and personal physician, Dr. Lee Cowden, who manages the IntegraMed Academy, has seen a small Orgone Accumulator completely resolve the inflammation of a wrist sprain injury in about 10 minutes, even though the pain and swelling had persisted unabated for three days prior to the treatment.

SOURCE:
OrgoneLab.org

Dr. Mercola's Comments:

The story of Dr. Wilhelm Reich and his discovery of orgone is part of the censored science of the 20th century that has been expunged from textbooks, and about which conventional media refuses to accurately report.

Dr. Reich’s Discovery of Orgone

In 1940, Dr. Reich, an Austrian immigrant, made the scientific discovery of a previously unknown energy existing in the atmosphere, in space, and within all living organisms.

He called it orgone, which is synonymous with “life energy.”

He observed that the orgone energy charge in the human biosystem was expressed in emotion, sexuality, and could be measured bioelectrically. Through a number of experiments, he showed that a person’s overall vitality and aliveness was a function of human and atmospheric orgone charges and pulsations, and that physical vitality could be increased by sitting inside a so-called orgone accumulator.

He also discovered that the orgone charge of your tissues is a fundamental part of your immune system. People were able to significantly boost their immune function by sitting in Dr. Reich’s orgone accumulator for approximately 30 minutes a day for several days.

The results were so incredible, in fact, that Dr. Theodore Wolfe, a pioneer in psychosomatic medicine, referred to the orgone accumulator as “the most important single discovery in the history of medicine, bar none.”

[Read rest of article @ Dr. Mercola's website]

[DISCLAIMER: All posts clearly marked STOLEN: in the title are meant to bring additional points of view and content to Bonez Readers' attention and are not the property of Bonez and do not necessarily reflect the views or tenets of the Bonez staff. Such STOLEN: posts are meant as free promotional opportunities for the original creators of said posts.]

iPhone 3G S Wet Dreams

Posted by Tony

I don't think of myself as a total technogeek by any means. Well, not the "geek" part, anyway. I do way love way cool tech and actually make my living hawking and supporting amazingly complex software technology around the world for ungodly large sums of money. Of course, my customers absolutely NEED my company's über advanced amazingly complex software as it is a "must have" in order for them to be even remotely successful in operating their global ultra corporations which we all know are under the control of the Illuminati reptilian alien overlords. My company's addictive Überware is sort of like the crystal meth of enterprise software and our clients are hooked beyond any hope of human salvation and fervently pray daily for divine intervention to free them from their slavish bondage. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

But I digress.

I do appreciate how technology enhances my life and makes it at least a little easier. Some would say that such thoughts are what complicate life and create undue stress (remember the Future Shock post?), but I, the great and powerful Bonez say, "You dare to come to me for a heart, do you?" Er... um, I mean, "hogwash and balderdash!" A little 3D video gaming, wireless interwebs surfing, swashbuckling ARRRGH! Davey Jones Skull and Crossbonez on the run fun, wide screen movie watchin', robot talkin' GPS and hands-free mayhem never hurt anyone and sure makes life a tad bit more bearable in those dark lonely dry spells of time away from a broadband world wide web connected device.

Besides, I consider the iPhone 3G S to be the office in my pocket sort of thrill that frees me from toting that back breaking four pound archaic notebook PC around while gallivanting around the mostly civilized world. "See here, Mr. Jones, the presentation I have for you on my awesomely cool and sexy iPhone 3G S?" Yeah, that's the ticket.

I'm getting aroused just typing about it! Steve Jobs is God, Amen and Amen, pass me the Apple pie, Momma. That new iPhone 3G S will soon be mine. Mine!

We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious.

Thankfully, We ARE Victims of Future Shock

Posted by Tony

Brace yourselves for Future Shock! We are the victims of our own technological strength, according to Mr. Orson Welles. Way back in the dark ages of 1972, he narrated the following shlockumentary entitled "Future Shock" loosely based upon the 1970 book by the same name written by Alvin Toffler. As old knowledge is replaced by new our young people become numb to the fact that nothing is permanent any longer. Uh, wake up, Orson! Permanence is an illusion. Dontcha know nuttin', cigar chompin' chubby boy? What's that ya' say? Orson Welles is dead? Really? Well, that's no excuse. He should have had his head preserved via cryogenics or at least floating in a jar so we could continue to razz him for such outlandish extrapolations of distant future prognostications. I mean, really ... the film is laughable but is still enjoyable to watch and giggle at. The hippies and the silly over dramatization by Orson Welles are worth getting a bowl of popcorn and sitting back and seeing how close Toffler got to anything close to reality as we know it today. See? We are in that distant future he was so afraid of. I'm still waiting for my obedient robot servants, disposable interchangeable bodies, communal marriage, blue skin and head full of regrown hair. Personally, I think the world is a much better place than it appeared to have been back in 1972. Change is not "bad". Change just is. Change is the only constant in nature.

Aflac Duck Goes Down to the Farm

Posted by Tony

"Farm" shows us the Aflac Duck's barnyard friends talking about the benefits of Aflac supplemental insurance. It does well in delivering the relevant and timely message that Aflac helps pay everyday bills when people are sick or hurt and cannot work - a benefit that is particularly important in today's economy. I am glad to see Aflac being more clear on just what it is they provide to customers. Supplemental insurance, unlike primary medical insurance, pays the cash benefits directly to the employee/policy holder versus to the doctors or medical institutions. That is cash to be used as the beneficiary sees fit. To pay for transportation, food, lodging, or just the bills that are still due even if someone is ill or injured and unable to work. In other words, real money when you need it the most.

I have enjoyed the security of owning three Aflac policies for over ten years. It is comforting to know that I can take my Aflac coverage with me even if my employer decides to no longer offer the option or I decide to move to another job. My rates will never increase and my coverage will never decrease as long as I own the policies. I don't know of any other supplemental insurance that can guarantee that. It is almost unbelievable how inexpensive it is to own the confidence of Aflac supplemental insurance policies. With my pre-taxed payroll deductions I save even more and never worry about making a payment. It's definitely one of those Win-Win scenarios that come around so infrequently in the worlds of insurance and finance.

So now that you've trudged through my spontaneous solicitation of Aflac you are probably scratching your head and wondering why. Why have you read this far and why the heck did I just spend the last several minutes touting the glories of Aflac supplemental insurance. Well, I sincerely believe in it that much. Having Aflac is a part of what I do to protect myself and my family should I encounter certain obstacles in life. I think it is a very smart choice and an inexpensive way to augment our insurance coverage to better meet our real financial needs in a time of crisis versus just paying the docs and pharmacy. I believe in it so much that I will talk with anyone interested in learning more about how they can obtain Aflac coverage for themselves and their loved ones. I will talk with employers and explain to them the importance and ease they can offer enhanced benefits to their employees at no additional cost to themselves.

Someone on another blog said that they heart Aflac. I agree. I heart Aflac, too, and thrill to hear that crazy Aflac Duck screech, "Aflaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaac!" Come on Aflac, let's get the word out that owning some peace of mind is better than the alternative of being diagnosed with an illness or injury and wondering how we are going to take care of our families.

For more information visit: Aflac or fan the Duck on Facebook.