Friday, June 24, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Just like Mrs. Mac's meat pies my life is pretty much some awesomely delicious lean meat with a crusty top called the school of hard knocks wisdom tempering it. Funny what truth we can glean and apply to our lives even from a silly tantalizing (or is that titillating?) commercial. This is an example of what I mean when I tell people that they can hear God's voice everywhere and at any time through any medium and often in the most unlikely of places and situations. Those who have ears to hear ...
Bonez ... also known as ME, MYSELF and I, will be riding up to the Lexington, Kentucky area today to meet up with my best friend for Life, Captain Willie Lee (HawkEye) Payne. He and I have been best friends since we were about fourteen and have saved each other's lives numerous times so we are continually indebted to put up with each other's crap till we croak. I would include a picture of him and his ride (2010 H-D Road King über customized and schmexxy as all git out) but that would take away from a fairly good shot of me and my ride (2010 H-D Dyna Super Glide Custom even schmexxier than Captain Willie Lee's two-wheeled babe). Since this IS my home turf I will play the my home turf trump card this time and save pictures of him and his sweet ride for another post or three. Okay, who am I kidding here? I can't resist posting another pic of my beauty (still as yet unnamed) and it so happens Willie Lee's heartthrob is in it so it serves a dual purpose. Note, this shot was before I installed my wickedly cool skeleton hands holding coffins mirrors and she's pretty dirty after a thousand miles or so of hard riding so look beyond that and see her inner beauty and power. Okay, you see his bike but I refuse to cave in and post a picture of him until he reads this post and gives me sh*t over it.
Wow, what is all the above about? Well, primarily, I am supposed to be packing the bike right this minute and getting my tired butt on it and heading up North. I am in for a long weekend of riding twisties in the Blue Ridge Smokies, eating lots of grilled animal carcass, shooting handguns and AR-15's and anything else we can get some ammo for, riding some more twisties, and enjoying the natural magnificence of Creation we are so blessed to inhabit at a level most people never experience. Definitely one of those "if you don't ride you don't know" moments that I will hold dear in my memories until the aforementioned day I croak. So ... am I packing and loading and riding at this very moment? No, Ma'am (or Sir as the case may be). I am sitting here naked tapping out another Bonez blog post to let some of my pent up emotions become exposed (get it? I'm naked and "exposing" my emotions .... hahaha, I crack myself up sometimes) to a faceless mass of strange electronic visitors. How's that for a blogging addiction?
Okay, time for me to stop self-indulging and unstick my bare buns from this leather and get geared up and out of here on my weekend adventure. I will leave you, Dear Reader, with a reminder of what this weekend is really all about least you forget. I can NEVER forget and will always be eternally grateful for those who gave all so that I can sit here naked and type rambling nonsense in FREEDOM. Ride Safe and Ride Free.
Posted by Tony Permalink 08:30
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Not even a pending apocalypse could keep these Taiwanese gentlemen bikers from living the wonderful experience of two wheel therapy. Reliving memories of their youth and bravely denying "circumstances" and fear from squelching their desires to LIVE. Life is something we are supposed to live ... not just let happen to us. Thank goodness none of them were influenced by the likes of our False Prophet, Reverend Harold Camping.
Harold Camping, the radio evangelical preacher now says he "miscalculated" (again) in his predictions that May 21, 2011 would be Judgement Day and the Rapture. Um, actually those are supposed to be two separate major events separated by a specific period of time ... according to the Bible. But, I guess in Reverend Camping's world its all just a game of numbers he randomly picks and chooses from "God's Word" since he's obviously the only one smart (or is that "devious") enough to interpret them and prepare the Flock for their imminent departure from the fleshly realm.
Camping is not retreating from his end of world on October 21st predictions, though. He says that God has spared humanity five months of hell on Earth but the apocalypse would still happen right on schedule ... Camping's schedule apparently ... on the 21st of October come rain or shine or hell or high water. Hold it. Hell and High Water may be part of the end, my bad.
Some of Camping's followers gave away everything they owned since they would not be needing them once they rose naked into the air with the resurrected corpses to meet Jesus in the clouds. They were so convinced that Camping was right (this time) and they would be spared the horrors of an angry God hell bent on killing billions of people and finally destroying the entire planet in five months.
Mr. Camping was hiding out in a motel room with his wife ... probably fearful of being tarred and feathered and run out of town on a rail or stoned to death like the Bible says should happen to all false prophets who miss predictions.
The penalty for false prophecy, is capital punishment (per Deuteronomy 18:20).
"But a prophet who presumes to speak in my name anything I have not commanded him to say, or a prophet who speaks in the name of other gods, must be put to death."
In summary, the biblical standards for a false prophet, it is forbidden to speak in the name of a god other than YHWH. Likewise, if a prophet makes a prophecy in the name of YHWH that does not come to pass, that is another sign that he is not commissioned of YHWH and that the people need not fear the false prophet.(Deuteronomy 18:22)
Oh, that's right, that is part of the Bible Camping selectively disregards ... not a lot of profit in that one.
When Camping was asked if he had any advice to offer those who had given away everything in the belief the world was about to end, he almost smugly said, "We just had a great recession. There's lots of people who lost their jobs, lots of people who lost their houses... and somehow they all survived." Wow, how's that for compassion for the thousands you duped and ripped off? Oh, and then he added, "We're not in the business of giving any financial advice, we're in the business of telling people maybe there is someone you can talk to, and that's God." What an absolute asshat! Yeah, they better talk to God because they are not going to get any truth or sense or financial renumeration out of you, Mr. False Prophet Camping!
Posted by Tony Permalink 19:55
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Playboy puts fifty-seven years of hot naked women online at outrageous prices. Playboy will provide every page of every issue since it began in 1953. The catch is that they are offering it only as a subscription service for eight dollars a month, $60 per year and $100 for two years. Really? I mean, I realize there are over 130,000 pages of Playboy goodness there but who would pay that much money? Heck, who knows how many real pages of just pictures of the famous Playboy women there are. I'll bet over 50% of those 130,000 pages don't even have any naked women on them. What a waste of diskspace and bandwidth ... I mean, from the subscribers' perspective, which I am not one. Just sayin'. Okay, so it's optimized for the iPad ... big whoop.
Well, it's official. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) posted the official guidelines for prepare for and surviving the impeding Zombie Apocalypse that Bonez writers have long foretold. I think the CDC should consult E as it appears they have some of their zombie behavior "facts" a little askew. I am still confused on the ones that eat brains and the ones that just eat human flesh. Which ones are the shamblers and which ones are the cognitive ones who can actually talk and run? It seems to me the information is not nearly sufficient and the CDC should invest in hiring some real zombie experts like E to get the facts straight and thereby maybe ... just maybe saving a few more lives. There is still a lot of good advice, though. For instance, under the emergency plans section, number four, 'Plan your evacuation route' says, "When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance!" Wait, aren't zombies always hungry? And exactly WHY are they hungry? They're effin' DEAD, for goodness sake. Why would a dead and putrefying mindless corpse need sustenance at all? Okay, these are deeper questions than I am trained to answer so I hope E will respond and shed some light on this matter.
Further proof the zombie apocalypse is looming in our near future is the fact that companies are building zombie-proof structures to protect the lucky few from the insatiable zombie hordes. Not only are these underground bunkers zombie-proof but they are even luxurious by most survivalist standards. You can get into the cheap ones at about $25,000.00 per person which sounds pretty damn cheap when you consider that alternative of becoming zombie food and/or a zombie yourself. I guess these shelters are the next logical step to the old skool fallout and tornado shelters I grew up with. These concrete and steel reinforced underground mansions may provide the answer to the survival of our species and I am looking for the nearest one to give my twenty-five grand to hold my reservation. Wonder if I can pick my room colors and carpet pattern ...
To celebrate the embarrassing "I told ya' so" moment for a select few zealot evangelical fundamentalist Christian followers of the two time prophetic loser, Harold Camping, I leave this post with a masterful mash-up rendition of Blondie's Debbie Harry and the Doors entitled "Rapture Riders". Apropos, don't ya' think? Not very Christian of them to be so eager to rise up to meet Jesus while thumbing their noses at the remaining six billion plus souls who were to die horribly. People killed by an egotistical, jealous God ... doesn't that amount to infanticide against his own spirit children of Earth? Guess his commandments don't apply to him. Guess you can break the rules if you make them. Still, that does not warrant the Campingites belligerent sanctimonious holier than thou judgmental bullshit behavior against the rest of humanity.
Shame Shame Shame.
ἐδάκρυσεν ὁ Ἰησοῦς
Posted by Tony Permalink 00:01
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Famed professional wrestler Randy "Macho Man" Savage died early Friday morning after suffering a heart attack at the wheel of his 2009 Jeep Wrangler in Seminole, Florida. He crossed the median, hit a tree, and was pronounced dead a short time later at Largo Medical Center.
Why am I posting this on Bonez? My friends know I've never been any kind of wrestling fan (well, not after puberty anyway) and I've heard that Slim Jims have enough chemicals in them to keep your pool clean. No, I'm honoring the "Macho Man" because of this:
Randy Savage provided the voice for the character "Rasslor" in the Dexter's Laboratory episode of the same name (season 1, episode 2). You can watch the episode here. My four year old son loves the show and we've caught him posing in the bathroom mirror, flexing his muscles and calling himself "Rasslor". It's just too cute.
Shit, and it was the day before The Rapture too. That's fucked up.
Posted by Markoni Permalink 12:07