Back from the Grave

Who best to handle a piece about pesky zombie infestations with a cast of certified zombie killers? Sorry Tony, but I'm going to have to nominate myself on this one.

For those who are newer to Bonez, I am one of the older contributors round these parts; considering (but still undecided on) a comeback to the literary world. And my credentials?

• Participant in two zombie walks
• Family photos done as zombies
• Preparing for a zombie pub crawl
• Two zombie tattoos
• Having a zombie wedding later this year

I think it goes without saying that I've got Z-cred.

So why am I jumping in here all uppity and antagonistic? Because I'm furious over this trailer. Furious, I say.

Aside from Tony stating that Michael Rooker's primary credit is "The Walking Dead", when any self respecting horror fan knows that he was Henry, he seems to have missed my primary point of contention with this trailer.

When discussing zombies and zombie lore, one must be cognizant of the ideological rift inherent in the zombieverse as laid out in history. Namely, there are two separate schools of zombie classification: Romeroism and O'Bannonism. For what it's worth, I'm a strict Romeroist.

Romeroism	O'Bannonism
Zombies eat flesh	Zombies eat brains
Nobody knows why there are zombies	Zombies formed by the chemical Trioxin
Zombies have little to no memory	Zombies retain full memory
Unintelligent, act on instinct	Zombies speak, use tools, collaboration
Shambling, slow moving	Fast moving, high motor function
Unable to speak	Let you know what's on their mind (brains)
Can only be killed by immolation or brain destruction	Damn near unstoppable

Strictly speaking, all modern day zombie lore originates with the 1968 classic, "Night of the Living Dead", written by George Romero and John Russo. Due to a clerical oversight, NotLD was released sans copyright, so the creators reaped no financial reward for their creation.

In 1978, Romero released his sequel to NotLD, Dawn of the Dead. That same year Russo released a novel called "Return of the Living Dead". The rights to that novel were purchased by Dan O'Bannon, (Alien, Heavy Metal) and extensively rewritten.

The zombies in O'Bannon's retooled universe took on distinct personas from their Romero counterparts and the two series have ultimately been separated by use of moniker. Romero's movies are all titled "of the Dead", while the other series maintains "of the Living Dead".

So what has me so riled up? What's the point of all this zombology?

Simple. This trailer clearly depicts Romero inspired zombies. It uses the "of the Dead" title. It has George freakin' Romero as the godfather of all zombies.

Yet the song that plays in the background? "Partytime (Zombie Version)" by 45 Grave, best known as the featured tune in "Return of the Living Dead".

Okay, rant over. Continue about your lives.

Oh yeah, on a fun little personal note, this is actually my 100th post here.