Contortion Art and Heart Attack Burgers

It's been a while since Bonez featured a contortionist so I thought I would indulge myself and our readers a tad and share this clip of the mesmerizing Ylia. Who the *bleep!* is Ylia, you may say? Her true identity is a mystery to me but look at her, all up in that bendy stuff and all flexi-like. Anyway, I was unable to Google anything that may inform us more about Ylia, so I hope there is an industrious internet search guru who can unearth more detail about her. If so, please share with us your findings in Comments.
I think the art of contortion should be an official Olympic sport. I heard "they" are/were considering adding ballroom dancing as an Olympic sport. I would much prefer to see contortionists doing their stuff for the gold than to watch elitist dancers dressed in formal evening wear dancing their boring dances and being all uppity snooty tooty. Could ballroom dancing ever compare to the beauty and grace that is true contortion art? [HINT! this link is a MUST SEE for anyone who appreciates true beauty in artful movement and form]


Oh man oh man oh man. If I were still a meat eater I would be all over this monstrous Quadruple Bypass Heat Attack Burger! Hell, I would even book a weekend trip to Arizona just to experience what must be the nirvana of undercooked decomposing bovine flesh consumption and thus a game of dangerous gastrointestinal roulette. I would feel absolutely safe with the nurses standing by trained and ready to attempt resuscitation should I keel over from a massive coronary infarction. Of course, the beautiful ladies are not real nurses (according to the government) just like the Hooters Girls are not real airline passengers according to Southwest Airlines. But, alas, I am not a carnivore any longer. I guess I should see about whipping me up some of those delicious and oh so nutritious veggie burgers tonight and save the giant beef burger fantasies for my secret dark moments alone.