Why did no one stop him? 
I hurt inside and am afraid 
I prayed he would die
but God didn't hear me... no one heard me 
Was I a bad boy?
big boys don't cry
I am worthless 
I bled and no one cared 
I am numb and dark inside and it is lonely in there
I was told I was a bastard and useless and deserved the pain
I can never be good enough so he will beat it into me 
he told me it would make me a better manI dreamed a big skeleton dragged me through the house naked
no one heard me scream or came to save me 
... he killed my insides so now I am a ghost...
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11 comments:
Tony - This is so incredibly powerful. I gazed at it for a long time and and read it several times. So simple but deep and powerful. Thanks.
Your post gave me the courage. I hope my confession touches the right hearts and saves a child from lifelong mental and emotional torment.
Brilliant. I don't say that often.
All my best,
Rich
Thank you, Rich. I am honored you visited Bonez and commented as I hold your opinion in high regard. Here's hoping the Blog Against Abuse efforts save lives and raises awareness.
You know Tony - I wrote about other people because I couldn't write about me. You are the one who is courageous.
The world may become more aware of the issues of abuse because of this blogcatalog effort, but the real benefit may be connecting to the stories of others so we can begin to forgive and be more gentle with ourselves.
I can't adequately express to you how you touched my heart and soul with this post. I was weeping by the time I was half way through and hope this is only a very creative and moving story and not something that really happened to you personally when you were a child. I found your blog by clicking on a link at BlogCatalog and I am glad I did.
Thank you for your kind words, Anonymous, and thank you for visiting Bonez. Unfortunately, this post is my true life experience and not something I made up.
Tony:
It's not fair to ask a victim to empathize with his tormenters, so I won't. But I imagine you agree that it's better - or at least more effective - to light a candle than to curse the darkness. It's no secret that most abusers were themselves abused when they were powerless and vulnerable.
What, then, can we do to put the brakes on future victimization? Is it just an inexorable outworking of man's depravity? Or is there some change of policy or some therapeutic innovation that could make it rare?
You are correct, James, I cannot "empathize" with my tormentors and it wouldn't be right to ask me to. However, that does not mean that I have allow the cancer of harboring ill thoughts and feelings against them to ruin the rest of my life. I have moved beyond the limiting factors of "dwelling" in my past and used this post only as a therapeutic outlet in support of Stop the Abuse Day. It is sort of a creative/artistic window into a scarred part of my psyche that I chose to share in hopes that my experience could help someone else.
Thank you for visiting Bonez and please come back and comment again.
Thank you for visiting Bonez and leaving such nice compliments, Angelina. The Bonez staff all supports efforts to eradicate cancer from our world. Many of us have either lost loved ones and friends to the disease or are even survivors ourselves. The best to you in your search for a cure.
You are not a ghost. You are not a ghost. You are a wonderful...human being...and I love you.....if you are a ghost...then what am I?
t.
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