Friday, March 13, 2009

Fight for Kisses


Unlike some guys, I never felt I was competing with my children for the affections of my spouse. In fact, I find it somewhat strange that a grown man could actually be jealous of the attention given to his children by their Mother. However, I do know that it is indeed a quite common affliction of the male ego that men are ashamed to admit. This feeling of competition with your offspring is a cross cultural thing and not specific to any particular region or ethnic group. It may even be linked to our ancient prehistoric days when humans may have been more animalistic in nature than intellectually aware. Just like many species of animals where the male desires to kill and eat the young, early man probably indulged in such infanticide for fear of competition and territorial protection instincts. But, just like evolutionary vestigial organs that once served a function necessary for survival, but are now unnecessary in today's enlightened world, men no longer need to give in to those base survival instincts.

Let me also take a moment and explain that men not slaughtering their children out of jealously does not mean they will not want to kill them for other reasons. Especially during those trying teenage years when the snot-nosed rugrats tend to be the most difficult to comprehend and endure. The sign of a true mature Father is that he allows his teenage aberrations ... er... children... to live to adulthood and experience having their own bundles of joy and mayhem. That's because a smart Father knows granting continued life to his spawn is about the best revenge he could ever get and he can relish the sweet savor of revenge for a long time.

So... bring it on, Baby!

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