Thursday, July 17, 2008

Redneck Waffle House Wedding


I get so tired of the redneck trailer park trash of the South defining the worldview of what Southerners are supposed to be like. I understand that I am perpetrating that very same negative image by posting this video on Bonez. However, the Waffle House wedding succinctly portrays the very thing I am bitching about. Embarrassingly, right down the the ignorant son-of-a-buck going to his matrimonial death being named "Bubba".

Let me clue you in... Most Southern women are not Belles. Neither are they cigarette smoking incest victims, barefoot obese heifers, snaggle-toothed meth addicted unwed mothers, fashion challenged potato sack wearing diva wannabes, idiotic sixth grade educated baby-making machines. Most Southern women are nothing like that at all.

Most Southern men are not genteel-men. Neither are they gosh darn knee slapping rednecks, tobacco chewing clods in overalls, cigarette smoking inbred banjo pickers, beer drinking deer hunters and bass fishermen, mullet-haired truck driving Nascar fans, uncouth morons picking their noses and scratching their balls and asses in public. Most Southern men are nothing like that at all.

Know what I mean, Vern?

4 comments:

Abby Taylor said...

Most marriages in some way end up scattered, smothered, covered, or chunked... so in a way, this is merely brutal honesty masquerading as a parody.

Or maybe that's just me...

Tony said...

Spoken as a true Waffle House aficionado, Miss Abby, and I think you may be more on target than either of us would like to admit. Yes, many marriages end up a mockery of the beauty and intent in which they started. Maybe those simple country folk are only being more realistic on the front end than their citified cousins who prance down the isle of the cathedral in their twenty thousand dollar weddings.

EuroYank said...

Gee Tony - I always thought Southern men married their cousins and looked like Gomer Pyle or George W. I know Southern women can cook great chicken and never say no.

Tony said...

Hi EuroYank! Good to see you lurking around Bonez again. It's not only Southern men who have been known to marry cousins. In fact, it is quite common all over the world. Gomer Pyle was a handsome devil compared to a lot of Southern Gentlemen I know. And George W. ain't no Southerner, EY, he's Texan and that's far worse. A bumbling village idiot Texan is a scary thing, indeed. Hey, you need to introduce me to some of those Southern women you know! Being vegetarian I have no interest in their chicken cooking capabilities but I am keen on meeting a woman who doesn't know how to say "No". "Hey Baby, get me another glass of wine!" PUH-LEEZ!

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