Wednesday, January 09, 2008


Perfect GriefA tightness in my chest, something in my throat that chokes me. The anniversary that is drawing near makes it hard for me to focus on things that matter. At the end of this month it’s three years. Just three years ago that my mom passed away and yet it feels like a lifetime. Not only did that moment make me an orphan, something so painful you can’t even imagine, I also lost my home, my haven. The only place I could feel completely safe. As always when I’m sad I try to find solace in music . The right melody brings the relief I have been longing for. As I listen to this song the gates open up and warm tears start to flood my face.

I don't know what I'm searching for
I never have opened the door,
Tomorrow might find me at last,
Turning my back on the past,
But, time will tell, of stars that fell,
A million years ago.
Memories can never take you back, home, sweet home.
You can never go home anymore.

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Tony said...

What a beautiful expression of your love for your Mother, Marloes. I understand the grieving process and how it takes a very long time to "adjust". Personally, I know I will never stop missing my Brother, Charles, who passed away 2 1/2 years ago... and it still hurts like it was last week. I miss him so much but am grateful for how he touched my life and still lives within my heart and memories. Thank you for this post as it touched me and make me think.

Marloes said...

@Tony, thank you for your kind words. From now on I will write more in this style if it is ok with you

Tony said...

Marloes, it is always "okay" with me for the Bonez Crew to write in whatever "style" they desire and feel most comfortable with. It has been an experience to see the different personalities evolve and find their voice on Bonez over the last eight months or so. Remember, Bonez is constantly evolving itself and is not stagnant or stuck within any one specific genre or niche. Feel free to experiment and stretch your creative wings and most of all... have FUN with it and relax.

E said...

Wondefully written, Marloes. I lost my father 5 years ago and I still haven't fully come to grips with my feelings on it. The power of music to both embolden and empower us is fantastic to behold. I am glad that you have found something to bring you comfort, strength, understanding or whatever else helps you to bear your loss.

Marloes said...

Thank you E, music is and has been my one and only friend in good and in bad times. Be it pop, or classical. It always manages to ease my sadness or enhance my happiness.

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